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Neutering your husband

As some of you know, a couple of weeks ago I slide my beloved little sports car into a curb and wound up with 4 tires pointing in 3 different directions. Sadly while I “work” with the insurance company I have been forced to use either my equally loved Jeep or my wife’s Mini Van.
I hate to admit it but the jeep can be tiring to drive day after day. Having a 3 speed manual transmission is great for off-road use, but is annoying in traffic. With a top speed of just barely 70, I don’t make many friends on the highway. Some of the other features her van has that the Jeep does not (like a radio and heater) factored with the fact that the Van pulls 20+ MPG as opposed to the 15- the Jeep gets, pretty much force my hand.

The trick is I never realized until this morning how emasculating the minivan really is.

This morning, as I have done once a week for the last year, I stopped to buy a doughnut from the gas station. When I pull up in my sports car or Jeep, the reaction on what every poor clerk is on duty is predictable. The sight of a 6’2” man wearing a black baseball hat & long black coat sends the clerk behind the counter with their finger on the alarm button. Sometimes they will even start their night drops (putting money into the safe) just to make sure it’s safe. When it particularly cold out, add a black facemask to the equation and their actions are almost comical.
But today, that same man wearing that same outfit getting out of a gold Mini Van, the clerk didn’t even stop stocking the shelf before I went up to the counter and put down my dollar.

They say clothing doesn’t make the man, but apparently their cars do!

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About rbdavis5

I'm me. If I ever find myself I will either update you or call the authorities (depending of how much of a reward there is)

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