Once again its Valentine’s day, The ancient holiday where groveling men heap love and affection onto their significant others in hope to get some. (I probably should say this now but if ‘getting some’ does not involve a partner, this entry’s not for you) [This is the internet – if the partner is not human, alive and sentient – this BLOGS not for you]
To my good fortune, I am married, and at the perfect age and relationship point for this holiday. Being as it’s the 16th anniversary of my 30th birthday, this means everything physically still works, and that my mouth no longer runs faster than my brain. Mix that with the fact that I have systematically wore my wife down, and I have a good chance of impressing her without having to bankrupt myself.
Although I have to admit I thought the same thing last year, but my main competition snuck by me. You see my wife watches the neighbors 18 month old boy and last year on Valentine’s day, he came over with his little blue blazer, his small red tie, his full blonde hair, holding a box of candy and a stuffed animal (that he had no intention of sharing with her) and won her heart for the day.
I never stood a chance but this year he’s now 2 1/2, potty training and has a nasty cold. Meaning he’s a walking talking snotty poo ball.
I’d say I have a 50/50 chance.