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Clothing Optional

I am of the now firm opinion that my office needs to be clothing optional. I say this not because I have any desire to see any of the 8 male coworkers or either of the female co-workers (both of which are ten years older than I am) naked, in fact I am sure I would pay NOT to see those sights. No my desire for this policy simple is that if that were in fact an option, my daily ‘clothing selection’ ritual would be made far easier.

I do have a morning routine, it goes something like this:

Sleep blissfully, then get drug kicking and screaming from the land of Endless Witter beer served by Semi clothed hotties back to reality by an annoying noise. Swat at the annoying noise and an instant later pray it’s my alarm and not the wife. Breathe a sigh of relief as I discover it is in fact the alarm that just received the brunt of my morning annoyance.

Get out of bed, either too cold, to hot, to tired, to hung over or just not in the mood to deal with the day (combinations of all of the above are allowed) . Grab Iphone, and beat on alarm enough times to assure it is either turned off or too afraid to start ringing for at least 23 hours. Stagger down the stairs and find the laundry. Locate pants, Pry open eyes enough to be sure they are not greasy blue jeans but actual work clothing. Sniff to assure they do not smell vaguely of feet (or worse). Repeat for a shirt. Try to check the color, knowing that its dark and I have limited color perception. Decide I don’t care enough to open my eyes and just go with it.

This routine has led to some interesting color combinations, a couple of which my indirect boss has questioned. At this point I think the best counter would be to have a clothing optional policy so I can tell the boss “If you want I can take it all off”

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About rbdavis5

I'm me. If I ever find myself I will either update you or call the authorities (depending of how much of a reward there is)

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