Today is the weekend we celebrate St. Patty’s Day. A day where any excuse to go drinking is ok (from “my dog is sick” to “I still remember getting a 83% on my 6th grade math quiz”)
The problem is that every bar in the northern hemisphere is serving green beer to all parties
The reason this is a problem: Beer is the god/universes perfect creation. You can drink it to a pretty good excess and as long as you stop before your body finds itself needing alternate methods of removal, it will pass thru your body without even changing color, (and in the case of the low quality beers, taste.)
Turn it green, and now your body actually has to work to make it normal. Given the slothic nature of humans, there is only 1 choice. Drink so much your body uses the ‘alternate removal methods’. (One that is more “exit the door you came in through” and less “this is the bladder, no flash photography please”) it is to their ultimate advantage that they are probably wearing the same color as the beer they over indulged on anyway.
So while I suspect that because the beer is green, and you’re wearing green, you naturally over indulge just so you don’t have to make your body turn it a normal color but that’s not even the real problem.
The real problem, for those of you that are paying attention, Saint Patty’s day is also the only day of the year that men can & do run around downtown wearing skirts (ok they call them kilts, but be honest, that’s like calling Vodka “medicinal potato juice”)
so to recap, we have men in skirts drinking enough beer that their bodies don’t have to turn it yellow… somehow I see a recipe for disaster.
So as I go out in my green shirt I am actually happy that my wife has a very strict NO DATING policy!!