Let me start out by saying that if you think I am going to burn in hell for this stunt, you would be wrong. I have a list of transgressions so long, that this doesn’t rate.
Anyway, today I had my Doctor Exam. The only thing that made it tolerable is that I got the inside of my car cleaned as a bonus. You see in my beloved state we have had extremely cold weather, cold enough that any extremity on a human body or anything that dangles has been in danger of freezing off. Mix that with the fact that when I do field work I end up eating lunch in my car and after about 4 months, my car is filled with a collection of waste, not large bags or one-handed items, but errant fries and straw wrappings and receipts that were handed to me before I got my actual food.
To alleviate myself of this mess, I could spend 2 bucks at the car wash, but I am both cheap and evil. So the plan is simple, go to the doctor, pay the Valet to park the car (something the Doctor Office will cover anyway) go to the appointment. Because it’s such a nice day and because there are 4 valets on duty, when I’m done I walk over to my car, which is parked about 2 blocks away, but thanks to the use of one way signs, it will be driven 5 blocks back. Use the spare key and put the roof down. Then walk back to the office, and be sure to give my ticket to a different Valet other than the one that parked it.
The result, when they drive the car back (far faster than they should) the vacuum effect will remove all of those small pieces of paper causing a trashy snow storm that I don’t get blamed for.
I will point out that 1) if they drove the speed limit this plan wouldn’t work and 2) the paper pieces will be destroyed by the next snow/rain storm.
Evil genius’ still live!!