Good morning my fellow miscreants. I am in a pretty good mood today. Thanks to someone failing to breast feed their child, or spank them as needed, I was able to get my daily doughnut free today!
The entire episode started as I got to the office. There is a convenience store in the lobby and most days I go in and get a doughnut. I can’t do my job or mornings without my Redbull and doughnut.
The woman behind the counter whose name I don’t know is always pleasant, even during the morning rush (I am not the only person that get his morning sugar fix there). Even when she has to say “no” she is always compassionate.
Today, the lack of breast-fed person in front of me threw a tantrum that would make a 2 years old cringe. He needed change for the meter, or bus. Honestly I didn’t know or care which. My counter girl told him with all apologies that they don’t make change there, and apologized.
The next 60 seconds were a shock to me. Frankly I have never, expect for the most over indulgent parents and possible strangers with candy, I have never seen someone change their mind or break the rules just because you’re calling them names stomping your feet or slamming your hands on the counter.
In addition to being highly annoying, this display was interfering with my ability to purchase and eat my doughnut.
So to restore balance to the universe, I stepped up, into his space, and uttered a single word
He turned and found himself staring into my chest, and a suspicious bulge under my right arm (my kindle before you all go calling the police).
Somehow I was able to pack the entirety of the pending beating he was about to receive, both for his behavior and for slowing down my ability to get a doughnut into that single word.
He left, quickly and my counter girl gave me my doughnut for free.
Looks like he wasn’t as dumb as he was acting!