New Orange scarf

Good morning to all my non-hung over miscreants

Wait, is there any such thing?  A debate for another day.   Today is yet another cat tale – both amusing and proof I need to get out more.   In truth my new job has a strict communication policy, so several of the events I see and would love to share would come with a likely pink slip.  Of course this policy only applies as long as I work here, so should the day come that my contract is not renewed, you will see a burst of blog posts. 

But that’s the future, and in order to see that far forward, I would have to be able to get my head off my desk. 

Yes I am exhausted, and no I am not hung over, it’s more a cat hang over.  You see I have 2 furry beasts,  one is almost a year old, she is KC.  KC is everything you would expect a cat to be, calm, cool, and in control.  She is the ruler of the house, and I am but the humble being that she allows to feed her and change her litter box.  
Ivan,(my 4 month orange tabby) is… unique.  Okay if I am going to be perfectly honest, he should be riding the short litter box.  He is as cute as anything, but not exactly a rocket scientist. His excess spunk and the fact I have had to rescue him several times from the same predicament only re-enforce this belief.

A couple of weeks ago, he started to sleep under the blankets with me.  It was odd, I have never had a cat do that before but it was not a problem either, he would come running in with great glee and jump on the bed, running up my leg and settling in by my stomach.  Ms. KC would sometimes come in as well, but not under the blankets.  She has far too much pride to lower herself to sleeping with sasquatches such as myself.   

Last night I discovered the truth.  Ivan came bounding in – curling up to his spot and started to purr. It was strange his feet and stomach were wet, strange enough I woke up.   I believed the purring to be for me until KC came in to the room dripping wet.  From what I can gather, Ivan was lying in wait until KC went to get something to drink.  And as I have seen him do in the past, he dove on KC’s head.  This time however, the dive resulted in his dunking KC’s head into the water dish, and then he ran to my room and used me as a safe refuge for the night. 

Too bad Ivan doesn’t understand that women never forget.  I am sure one day this week I will come one and KC will be wearing a new orange scarf.

Orange Tabby is Evil

Hello my fellow miscreants,

As many of you read from last week, My Orange Tabby kitten Ivan has been ill, and I have been giving him first aid.  It’s been traumatic for both of us, he ends up wet with Peroxide & water mixture – I end up wet in blood from the vicious clawing he does.  The good news is his stitches are out so our daily dance is done, no more squirting.

He has been trying to stalk me to exact his revenge for the indignities of his care. I arrogantly thought the issue had passed, after all he is a young kitten, and lacks the stealth of an older cat,  in fact I almost worry about how clumsy he is, his tail and limbs being longer than his body, and out of proportion.  But the Vet said that’s typical, he is essentially a teenager,  although there are more than a few days I wished I could have neutered my own teenagers, and let them have back their bits after they turned 21 – but that’s a different post altogether.

Last night, after work I was in the shower when I heard little Ivan ‘sneak’ into the bathroom.  He ended up tripping and slamming his head into the door, making much more noise than a 2.5 lb kitten should.  I got out and checked him, and he was fine, with no more brain damage than normal for a cat.  Of course I was wet as I held him and as I turned him and checked his head, so he ended up wet as well.

After trying in vain to use my shower to warm myself I came out to see Ivan sitting on the counter, smiling.  It was when I grabbed my towel, and wrapped it around me, and noticed something warm and squishy that I realized why he was smiling.
Needless to say, despite the city’s call to conserve water, I ended up taking 2 showers that day, and drying off with paper towels.

He may not be stealthy, but is has obnoxious down flat.

First Aid Advice – Miscreant style

Greeting my fellow miscreants,

            For those of you interested in animal care and effective ways to treat wounded beings, I submit to you the following.  I should take a second to say How/why little Ivan is now wearing a cone of shame.   I took in a cat that was outside freezing (it was far below zero) and while she loves me without question, she hates other cats, hates them with a passion.  Ivan is about 4 months old now, and he is small orange tabby, and folds up whenever anyone furry tells him to.  The boy has no fight, and with his latest surgery, if you want to accuse him of having no balls, you’d be spot on. 

            Last week, Ivan was attacked by her. Not a playful wrestling match, but a full-out attempt to kill him.  She ended up gouging his neck & stomach.  Both of which became infected.

            A quick and costly surgery later, he is not wandering around with a cone and a shaved stomach & neck.   The issue is I have to clean these wounds daily.

            My first method:

  • Wrap Ivan in a towel.
  • Pour a small amount of peroxide on the wounds.
  • Apologize
  • Have him freak out, have him squirm, have him knock over the peroxide and let it threaten my laptop. 
  • Use the only towel that is close enough to save the laptop, IE the one Ivan is wrapped in.
  • Realize someone is bleeding
  • Realize it’s you. 
  • Have cat earn its freedom after being essentially dipped in peroxide.
  • See the cute orange tabby glare at you promising revenge for this assault and indignity.

Needless to say I only used that method a couple of times before I tried the “Dip in a sink full of water/peroxide” – which surprisingly was even less effective. 

In the end, I found the way. Be sure you are dressed in a tee-shirt or short sleeve shirt.  

  • Pick up the victim, I mean cat and hold it by its arm pits, reducing his use of the front claws. 
  • Hold it at arm’s length, keeping the rear claws from anything useful. 
  • Use spray bottle filled with water/peroxide solution, clean the wounds.
  • Sleep with one eye open for the next few years.

This method is very effective at both cleaning out the kittens wounds, and at encouraging the homicidal tendencies that all cats seem to have. 

Oh and on a related subject, anyone want to adopt a stray?