Time for an Intervention

My Fellow Miscreants

It’s time that we all unite and stage an intervention!  I know that most of you probably are more on the receiving side of these, and have little clue how to organize one, but maybe I can help.  I’ll write my speech first, and you can all use it as a template.

“Ma’am,

I have known you all my life. Your antics when I was younger we amusing, and while you often failed me when I truly needed you by refusing my requests, I tolerated this. As an adult, and with a much different perspective, and it would seem your antics are getting more extreme. 

I am sure there is medication that will help; you really need to start taking it regularly, maybe find someone to talk to. 

Seriously Mother Nature, you just flooded my home state, made my neighbors basement into an indoor pool, and converted my car to a mushroom farm.  All that and I still failed my 5th grade math test because you refused to give me a June snow day from school.

 I don’t know if you and Father Time are fighting, or if you’re going through some type of change, but either way you seriously need your meds!”

All right people, your turn!  And if I get hit by lightning, maybe we will have to reschedule!

To the Biker in the Rain.

Hello my fellow miscreants,

Today’s blog is dedicated to the gentleman on the motorcycle who shared the road with me today.  There were a couple of things I think he should be aware of.

1)    I loved the Harley hard tail with the chopped forks. The chrome engine and the tuned pipes, the stencil work on the Jet black tank, even the curved 1 piece retro handle bars – all were put together in perfect order. The bike is truly a work of art.

2)    It’s May, the last week in May perhaps, but its May none the less. That means that while Mother Nature has started to take her medicine, her mood is far from stable!

3)    Those grey things in the sky, there called clouds. And while I know that our state is ‘semi-Arid’ it also is “semi-wet’ when those ‘cloud’ things are covering the sun and have been leaking all day – wet is pretty much the only option.

4)    When you see cars in front of both of us throwing 4 foot waves into oncoming traffic and into the lane next to them, your time to remain dry is very limited. … I don’t know if you thought somehow the 6 cars crawling in front of us would slash all of the water away, or if you just didn’t think about it.

5)    When I pulled as far from you as I could, I didn’t realize the water was deeper over there, enough that my little car threw a wave taller than its own roof. Heck I could have hit the top of my jeep with that wave.

6)    Trying to pass me on the right when I am traversing a water hazard, probably not your best idea of the day.

On the bright side, you now have an excuse to re-polish all that chrome, and the bike was sort of still running after your dunking. All that puddle water is going to make those jeans and shirt just smell wonderful. Probably wished you were wearing a jacket, & helmet but that wouldn’t have been as cool!

And FYI – maybe next time just stay a car length behind!