Drinking at work should be allowed.

Greetings my fellow Miscreants,

I have managed to find gainful employment again, contract work but still it’s a job. I am now a level 2 tech support specialist.  This means that I no longer get calls from receptionists reporting their solitaire games were broken because they’ve never won a game – they instead these poor souls call tech support who send over someone, and if they cant figure it out then they call me.

I stupidly hoped that this meant I would not get any more inane phone calls, after all Tier 2 at a major company, with offices all over the country the techs they use have to have some level of skills.

Today’s proof from the universe that this isn’t true came from a small office (10 part time users and no IT) so the company called in an external contractor to help them.  This contractor as it turns out runs the local computer & carpet cleaning operation.  So when they called for a VERY simple task (adjusting the screen resolutions and refresh) I was shocked.  During the call, I told the tech to open the windows control panel.  He asked what type of screwdriver he would need to do that.

…..

This is why they need to relax the whole no drinking at work policy.

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I wasn’t flashing you

Hello my fellow miscreants,

Once again I find myself using my blog to apologize for my own misbehaviors or misunderstandings. 

Today’s victim, I mean apology target is the little cute driving in the SUV – to this young woman I have to say I was NOT flashing you.

I can tell from your reaction (speeding up) that you must have mis-understood my intention. I swear you looked so scared, I noticed you even hung up your phone!

But, what you thought was flashing, was more blinking.  Of course both those terms are archaic, ‘Flashing’ would be what your great-grandmother called it,  ‘Blinking’ is perhaps what your parents called it, me I call it ‘using a turn signal’. 

Now I know I was in the right lane when I used my turn signal but I was not in fact going to take a left turn  from that position, I was going to enter your lane.

Clearly you were so afraid of the flashing/blinking/turn signaling that you gunned your engine, and closed the 1.5 car length between you and the car in front of you rather than have my .75 car length car enter that gap.  

While I do appreciate your hanging up your phone, I should point out that if you were trying to get away, your plan failed, being as you almost hit me during your panic run. I also should tell you had I been in my truck or jeep, I would have broad sided you stupid punk butt, pushed you into oncoming traffic and tore most of the impact zone off of that rolling pile of plastic and aluminum you call a car, and gleefully left you for dead. 

As it goes the only reason I laid into my horn was because it was too cold outside to roll down the window and give you the bird.

Of all the things you should do when you see that flasher/blinker/turn signal thing, ACCELERATE is the worse, slow down – maybe do nothing works too at those speeds.       

Back to my fellow miscreants, and on an unrelated note, does anyone know the legality of installing a mine dropper on your daily commuter vehicle? Just thinking out loud.

Revenge of Abject Stupidity?

Hello my fellow miscreants,

This morning, my lovely state is once again under water, this time is the frozen white kind.  Of course being the first snow of the season, the streets are still warm enough to make it melt.  Thanks in part to the deluge of water we got last month, it is now well knows where the ‘low spots’ that water will collect in are. It’s beyond well-known at this point.

As I was driving to work today there was a car, parked next to one of the temporary Colorado ponds with all the windows on the side facing the street open.  The pond extended into the road, and there really is no way to avoid it. As a result, the car is getting deluged by water, some people driving slow and only putting in a little bit, others by driving the posted speed limit, washing the interior in the mucky water, and others driving as fast as they can to either make a huge wave, or to get to their job asap.

I am still debating if this is the single stupidest thing I have ever seen (the fact we were due for a wet night was well-known to anyone with a TV/Radio/Internet) or is someone upset with their significant other found a new and exciting method of revenge.  I know at least 8 of the 10 cars in front of covered the car with a wave of ‘recycled’ water, and I saw a couple of those waves hit the open windows dead center.

I will leave it to your imagination how much water I added.

My first day on the phone

Hello my miscrents,

Now that I have completed training, I am now an official phone drone. Yes, if you are one of the many field techs and you can’t get your question resolved except by calling layer two support, you get to talk to me.

My first day on phones has been ‘interesting’  the que is set to hit me, then my coworkers, in order of when we were hired.  Sadly I am the lowest man on the totem pole, and the most experienced person is in the cubicle across from me, with order to stay off the phone, and help with all my calls.

The first two calls were exceedingly simple (Move an AD object from 1 folder to another, it’s like cutting and pasting a document, but because it’s in AD only a level 2 support monkey (Ie me) is able to do so.  The next call was “I have 4 pieces of ancient tech that used to work but now don’t” gave that one to my ‘mentor’ and he has been working for the last 45 minutes on it.  The next call was “we are from the merged company, and having support problems”  that one had to go to the person second in seniority and once again after 20 minutes, he took the call and I was back in que answering.

Needless to say,  I am looking at the switch board, and feeling more like a receptionist,  all of my ‘advance & experienced’ coworkers are on psychotic bizarre phone calls all of which bounced off of me.  I am doing the rest of the simple ones, but at this point, without a net.

Somehow the first day I am on the phones, and we are being overrun with WTF phone calls.

I think the universe is welcoming me back to the world of the working!

wet random thoughts.

Hello my Fellow Miscreants,

Today, as I sit in my car surrounded by the beautiful sound of rain drops, I can’t help but let my mind wander to new events of the last couple of days.

Of course I say that because the rain drops are coming an a horrendous rate and the water surrounding my car is creeping up the door while I pray the car in front of me is able to get started before I find myself swimming for the bus stop.

I also have had to deal with the wee one going to a new and scary place.  It’s tough. I want to go with them, to protect them and keep them safe. To punch the bullies, and beat down the people running the place so they don’t mistreat them.  It is nerve wracking.

But wife sized unit said ‘No’ to that. Both because she doesn’t want me arrested (such a dear) and because it’s her new job!

Thanks to the last of the children moving out recently, we are now an official double income no kids type of couple.  This means improved beverage choices (not just what’s on sale, but what we want to drink) and that we can go out and eat more and have more fun.

Of course that would be easier if we weren’t so freaking tired from work.   Why can’t the bosses just give us the pay checks and not make us do that work stuff?

There are Worse fates then a Cubical.

Hello my fellow miscreants,

Random thoughts for you all today.   I have been working for almost a full week!  I forgot how little I liked working, but I have not scored a winning lotto ticket, and none of my fans have offered to adopt me yet so if I want to keep eating and not sleep under a bridge I suppose I will have to put up with this.

Today I also received my cubicle assignment.  That’s right, I am back in the world of cloth walls.  It’s so Dilbert-esque that I am expecting to see Wally or a pointed headed boss come in.  as part of my move in, today I get to clean out my cubical.  So far I have found a ton of vendor swag and have decided that next time someone tells you to stick it where the sun doesn’t shine, they are probably talking about a cubical (mine or any of the millions of others).  On the bright side, there is one guy whose cubical is next to the bathroom doors, so not only does he have the pleasure of knowing everyone’s bowl cycles, but because it’s a single door, when you walk in or out, the air is pulled from there and lands in the cubical.

If he thinks hard enough about it, and realizes that orders are in fact molecules of the original source small enough to become air born, the horror of that realization would make even a non- germiphobic person spray down their cubical with a 55 gallon drum of disinfectant.

It’s good to be back to work, is it 5 yet ?

 

Monday Missed me.

Hello my fellow miscreants,

So this is my first working Monday on over a month, and I have decided that Monday missed me.  I suspected this would be the case when I woke to find I have no Redbull.   I went to check my email, I have no internet; Comcast is doing ‘maintenance’.  I go to the doughnut shop, to find out they are sold out of my favorite doughnuts. Go to the new Job, but the parking lot is being stripped so have to go to the back lot which is full already, making me park a block away, at least it’s already 85 degrees outside.  Got to the training room to find the AC is out. It takes only a few minutes for me to soak through my shirt.

All this plus I have to go from my office to my interview.  So I get to drive home, grab a clean shirt, then drive like myself (IE a mad man) to the interview – then depending on mood and time, go back to the office, which means going home to get my other dirty shirt back on. (Don’t want to explain why I got a clean shirt for a doctor appointment) and finish the day.) of course, when I am almost back to the office the new boss calls, turns out he is going home, so I don’t have to worry about coming back.

My big interview went like Crap, so all that work and missed time may well be for nothing.

And of course, the last piece of this twisted excuse for a day, I got another call for an interview, but I had to tell them sorry, I can’t interview until Thursday.

A Monday this epically bad can only happen because Monday has missed messing with me…