The New Position

Hello my fellow miscreants,

the Contract job is going pretty good, considering that I have had 2 weeks of training and still have only limited clues what I am doing.  The job is the first new hires in 18 months,  so they had a confused training regime.  mostly it was “ah what should we show”  or (my personal favorite)  the spend 2 days being told about a system that was put in when the Bangles were in the music charts, only to be told “but we don’t support it, so if you get any calls, refer them to <this place>”

This week, I have the swing shift, because the operation is 24/5 (closed on weekends) there are some interesting shifts, the midnight to 8  shift,  the 8 am to 4 shift,  the 4 to noon shift,  and my current assignment,  the noon to 8 shift.     the early shifts get hammered since the company is world-wide. During normal business hours for China, Russia, Europe and such, the early or over night shifts take a lot of  calls.  enough to prevent people from sleeping at their desks at the very least.

right now, its normal business hours, if your on an unnamed pacific island and happen to need support.  I checked, they get an average of 4 calls a week.

To make matters worse, I am with a trainer, so there are 2 of us to answer any of the 4 calls we can expect this week.

I am torn, between “at least I am getting paid” and “try not to sleep”  and to make matters worse, my badge does not work, so if I leave my cubicle for any reason I have to go to the trainer, and take him with me, or I will be locked out of my cubical.

the good news ? I have more than enough time to edit and write new books, to tease my new Muse (until she falls asleep) and be able to pay my mortgage this month (banks get really cranky when you don’t to that)   the bad news,  I have to do all of it sober.

The sacrifices we have to make. I personally am going to try to get as many swing shifts as I can!


its still the internet

Hello all my Fellow Miscreants,

Being a miscreant is not an easy task.  you must find a way to balance your enjoyment of all things, and maintaining at least some modicum of civility.   Recently a conversation with my UBerfan about her trying to remain anonymous while she publishes. Her Logic, she is a Female, and despite the style and skill she writes with she will be a female first, and an author second. she wants to succeed as a writer, not as a side-show.

I convinced her that the internet was a creepy place, but that she would find that people tended to behave badly only for a few minutes, then they would either move to another target, or start behaving.

of course my UBerfan then went and got a full-time job, so now I can only bug them when they are off work and when I am…(I liked it better when she was as unemployed as I was… but none the less)  Because she was now busy, I started to chat with another author. She became my muse, helping me understand the female brain (or at least get me close enough I could write about it with out spiking my blood Alcohol Level.   she had the same concerns as UBerfan, and I once again gave her my advice.

as it turns out I now owe both my UBerfan and Muse an apology.  I was wrong.

It’s still the internet!  while there is a good section of people who will chat these 2 up out of interest in their  abilities as writers, there are also still more than a few mouth breathers that make it so that any human being with mammary glands must hide behind androgynous names and photo’s. I am tempted to chase down these a$$hats and let them know they are not allowed to harass my muse or UBerfan,  that’s for me to do !




More Humor from the Universe

Hello my fellow Miscreants,

today the God/the Universe have decided to teach me another lesson, this time in humility.  As many of you know I am working as the editor of record for the Denver area Writers Meetup 1st annual anthology.   tonight, we had our first meeting to discuss the pieces and decide their fate.  8 pieces were up for review,  1 was rejected before review, because the author has dropped communication with us making it impossible to use his piece.  the other 7 pieces were reviewed.  as the editor of record I disallowed my self from voting on the pieces,  I did leave my self the option to override with in very limited parameters the decision of the panel. No one on the panel knows who the author of each piece is, only I do.

There is a point system, and 6 people on the panel.  6 points and the piece is in the anthology.  Anything over 13 points, and your piece is out.  6 to 12 points and the piece can be used, but the author will have to address some specific complaints.

3 of the pieces were rejected, one scoring an impressive 17 (meaning everyone said No and 1 person said maybe)

two pieces scored a 7 and 2 of them got 8’s

1 got a perfect 6.

My Veto power was good enough that the 7 was moved into the accepted range.  the other 7 will need only a very small number of edits, in truth it was suggested that I put both the 7’s through.

so tonight I start the process of personalizing 2 emails to the authors that got the 8, asking them for specific changes and to resubmit.  The other pieces I have to thank they kindly, but tell them that for the moment, the pieces would need far more work then we believe can be done in the time frame.

so where is the humor in this almost laborious setup ?  (and why am I not sending an email to the person that scored the 7?)

the piece that got a 7 is mine…

Needless to say, not only do I get to write 3 emails (2 specific, 1 very generic) but I then get to make the 6 changes to my story and resubmit to a new panel

I once was told that “if Beer is author juice, the tequila is editor Juice”  I am starting to understand what that means.

The End of the Drought

Hey all,

as most of you have noticed ever since my job and I parted back in April, my humor and posts have grown farther and farther in between.

The conversion from Employee to Contractor to Day Time TV Aficionado has been hard on my humor,  and really ranting about the crap they try to put on during the day feels more pointless than normal.  I do admit some questions have come up, like do advertisers really pay to be on this crap they try to pass off before 5 PM daily?   Honestly I would rather watch the wacky way late night TV then the bull droppings they have during the day.  I once thought that the reason women stopped staying home and being home makers was because of a desire to better their families financial situation and/or a preference to be in the professional and working world earlier.  Now I just think it’s because day time TV sucks monkey nuts so hard that they’d rather have to juggle jobs and family then to sit through another TV Judge telling people who should never be allowed to bred ‘that’s not the way things work’

But I digress,  today I am one step closer to returning to the real working world.  This will have an effect on my writing (rather than having all the time to do it but no motivation, I will have all the motivation, but limited time which somehow improves my writing.  if I ever get Dragon Nat speaking for my computer, I will be even more prolific, but that’s problem # 673287 on the list of things…

so cross your fingers my fellow miscreants,  with luck I will be one again sharing the road every morning with an assortment of pin heads, stopping back at my Doughnut shops for my daily doses of contraband, and dealing with a bureaucracy that is mind numbingly stupid, all for a salary that lets me go break my toys and buy new ones…  all of which combine to get this blog back to its 4 times a week pattern!

we can only hope

Oh and BTW – anyone out there buy or read RAKASHA on Amazon yet ? if not – you should!! here is a link, just in case.

More Humor from the Universe

Greetings all,

The universe has a twisted sense of humor, I have always said that, and always will. Yesterday was one of those days that proved it to me. I will admit part of the joke is punishment for my own misbehaviors and for following patterns as opposed to dealing with real information.

A friend of mine is leaving the writers group & the city, as a result we had an impromptu going away party, where we all sat and drank and enjoyed her company for the last time.  By the end of the night, she was too drunk to let ride a bus home, so I drove her to the other side of town.  My reward for this act of selflessness, I didn’t get home until almost 2 am.   For those that don’t know, I have a contract job this week, which requires me to be out of bed at 5:30 am.

Fast forward a few hours later in the day, when my sleep deprivation hang over is at full tilt and most of my filters are off.  I get a call from a job recruiter reminding me I am 10 minutes late to my phone interview which I had forgotten about.   I dial in and have a brutal interview because my exhausted state. I try to funny, I get the techie bits right – but I also think that they are done with me and this opportunity is closing. Of course just to add insult to injury, about 5 minutes before the end of the interview my phone starts to ‘break up’ [the interviews words not mine] I know it’s because another recruiter is calling me.

After the interview – an email pops to my inbox, I take a quick look and the subject is EKMUU, a short story I submitted again (13th try). This can only mean one thing; the anthology that I submitted my story into has rejected it.

Before I can process that failure, my phone rings AGAIN! – it’s the first recruiter calling about the interview I just finished.  I apologize to her for my poor performance, and hope she will keep looking for me.

She laughed at me, turns out she was calling to tell me that the company was so impressed, they want a face to face meeting next week, and after I slip up and mention the other recruiter, they want the meeting on Monday!.

I grab my celebratory beer and as I take a sweet long pull, a thought in the back of my head starts catches my attention.  The email labeled Ekmuu – it has an attachment. Why ? What would be the point of sending me back my story ? The first thought “because they hate it so much they don’t want it on their server” is quickly replaced by the beer enhanced thought “there is NO scenario that they would send back the file”

Curious I go read the email –

EKMUU has been accepted by FEY Publishing for “Horrors of History” Anthology

I am not sure if the universe is punishing me for drinking with a sleep deprived state or rewarding me for not letting my friend ride the bus home drunk. Either way, plenty of good news.

Rant & Update

Hey all,

Sorry about being so lazy posting, but between trying to find work and trying to spur sales of my book (two things that are not really having any results) I have been busy as anything. I also have been doing freelance computer work and have 6 ‘realities’ that I was fighting, but have concluded I need to deal with. All of which combine to make me a very cranky miscreant.

Having typed all that, there was an article that crossed my path that I thought I would share – the worst possible idea I have ever heard, one that should it be implemented, could kill the eBook world quickly.

Let me start out by saying I sort of like eBooks – I still prefer hard copies of some books, most of the ones I read at least, but eBooks are cheap and some of them I have read, I have little desire to acquire the physical copy. Something about them never crossed that line. eBooks are a low-cost way to discover an author and not sit there thinking “I spend 10,15,20 for THIS?”

Today I read an article about how to make more money on your eBooks – by selling advertising within them. To me this idea strikes me as corrupt as pimping out your own children. I get the idea of ‘have a sponsor’ that could sort of work (not for me, I write fiction, but some of the other works I could see maybe having a sponsor.) but the very notion of “sell a few lines, like a classified” “Embed a promotional video” “Product placement can also be an effective tool” make me physically ill

I get that authors need to find new ways of making money,  the market is crowded, people are reading less, and spending less, but there are limits. while I don’t know where that line is, Advertising with in your book, whoring your story and your plot to include a brand of beer or soda is far over the line.  So far beyond that I don’t even think I can see the other side.

I can promise you this my fellow miscreants, the first eBook that I read that has a soda companies video embedded in it, or an egregious product placement will the last eBook I read. It’s bad enough how we get bombarded daily but that bullshit, I for one am not going to embed it into my books or my blog. I just hope that the rest of the world joins in on that thinking.

I would hate to see eBooks become the next Internet: IE somewhere that is so crowded by advertising and random links, and pop ups and such that the simple joy of reading is lost.

Interviews of mine

Hello my fellow miscreants,

I completed 2 interviews, and before you ask no its was not with the local constabulary concerning any of the strange events from the holiday weekend (to which I deny any knowledge or involvement. nor will I tell you where my eyebrow is)

They were about me as an author (or writer, depending on where you set the bar exactly)

they are somewhat more serious than normal but still I enjoyed the process.

thought y’all would find them fun.

Hope your Sunday is going, and sadly Monday is on its way…

BTW – for my fellow miscreants, a thought about my book. Mix my love of horror, my humor and toss in a few other elements, and you end up with a very good read. If you were one of the 51 people who downloaded it for free, be sure to leave a review of it – if your one that missed that boat, I will be launching another free day, but honestly at .99 cents it’s already a HUGE bargain.


You have the right not to read!

Hello Fellow miscreants,

As promised after a trip to the unemployment office, the pin head meter pegged at 11 before the needle broke.  I could spend days ranting about this, but the short version is because I missed a week of turning down the money, they reset a waiting period, but they also made an adjustment, the net result it, 2 to 4 weeks with no income before I start to collect my unemployment. (And yes I know last time it was 8 to 9 weeks, don’t ask me how this work, I gave up trying to figure that one out months ago)

I also have received no less than 2 hits about my writing.  My blog needs better editing, and is negative and snarky. And my Rakasha: Legend of the Tiger Demon book was “sick and disturbed, and I shouldn’t publish it.”

Too address these 2 points.   I promise to put 20% of my blog earnings into an editor, so that’s 20, carry the zero = Zero!!  I don’t make anything here, other than friends and soldiers in the miscreant army so this problem is solved.  as for being negative and snarky…. ahhh – anyone want to address that for me? I would think that with a title “Miscreant Thoughts and Lesser Things” you wouldn’t be looking for life affirming messages, but I guess the titles somehow missed the mark.  I do joke about my wife-sized unit a lot, not that I don’t care for her, respect her or what ever else, it’s that in small doses she is funny.  Besides she likes to walk under things like tree branches that knock me on my ass, she has done it enough times I am sure its part of her evil plan to shave 4 inch’s off the top of my head… but that’s another blog.

As for Rakasha, other than the fact I put an adult label on it, and put this disclaimer both on the sales site and in the book – 3rd page in fact.

WARNING – This is a collection of Horror stories. They are gory, gross, have drug and sexual references, mature situations and immature humor. If you are easily offended, this is not your book!

There is also the fact that the first reviewer said

This book is not for the faint of heart but if you enjoy a book filled with exotic adventure, humor and terrifying surprises, this is perfect for you. Rakasha doesn’t only have an addictive bite but an addictive story.

I supposed I could hire dwarves to pimp slap anyone that fails to pass the “do you have any nerves” test but not sure how I would pay them.

Just remember people, with the exceptions of the Constitution and at least some History books – you have the right NOT to read, please feel free to use it.

WTF – anthor break ? well no….

Hello Fellow Miscreants,

Anyone missing me ? I tend to post at least every other day but lately I have been lazy.  I would blame the heat, or sunspots or even consumption of my author juice but the sad truth is, now that I am fully unemployed, I don’t leave the house enough for anyone to annoy me. Not to the level of annoyance to be bloggable.

I do know my former consultant Nuked me on Facebook and is no longer talking to me, no clue why but honestly I can’t worry about things like that. Not blog worthy

I had a ‘rabid fan’ for a few days, until she started to tell me about how her daughter was in a hospital in Nigeria, and wanted to know if I could lend her some money.  Honestly not annoying enough to blog about.

I got a review from an early reader “I don’t like Horror and am strictly PG13, but your writing is solid”  [I gave them the disclaimer, now I have to wonder, what part of “Mature situations, Gore, Gross, Immature humor, Drug and sexual references” made it sound PG 13 ?  still not worthy of a blog…

Went and saw World War Z, and someone should talk about how writers should WRITE. The 2 plot holes were big enough not only to suck in this movie, but the next 2 they show on the screen. I would blog about this, but I already have on

I published my first book, 6 days before I meant to – an interesting story, but that’s more for the writer’s blog then this one.


The good news for everyone, tomorrow I have a full day of running, and delivering a gift, and going to job services, and toss in a trip to the store, I am sure some outstanding member of humanity will ‘inspire me’

An open letter to my editor

(this post is dedicated to April Woods, who saved my butt and helped get Rakasha out the door on time and professionally edited)
Dear Madam Editor,
To answer your questions:
    Yes English is my primary language.
    No I have not been out of the country for an extended (decades long) period
    Yes all of my punctuation keys do in fact work.
    No, I do not believe my laptop is now more physically fit from typing a marathon’s length of run on sentences.
I was changing my trash as I do every week and think I may have found one of the mitigating factors to the errors you corrected for me  please see the enclosed picture for further explanation.
your author
ME !!
(Rakasha will be free on KDP on 7/5/2013 !! )
The editing issue discovered.

The editing issue discovered.